Merry Halloween!


Ok, so I know that it's Halloween today, and I LOVE Halloween. But I got a 40% off my entire purchase at a local craft store, and let's just say I have CHRISTMAS on the brain. I bought these to cover in glittery goodness:



















I also bought this just because I loved it:








And in the back of my head I'm dreaming of a white and green and silver Christmas. Yeah, a wee bit excited.




Do you think anyone will notice that my tree is up at Thanksgiving? Ok, maybe I won't go that far, but I WILL admit to already play Christmas music. LOL!
Six Months Ago Today

I lost my oldest son to Colon Cancer. He was an amazing boy, and we miss him like crazy every single day. He turned 13 just before he passed, and that's my lucky number. He was pretty happy about becoming a teenager despite being so ill.

Instead of being upset and sad (although I'm sure it will hit at some point today), I'd rather celebrate what an amazing boy he was. So here goes:

Joey was the most amazing artist and could draw far above his age level.
Joey was a peacemaker and tried to make sure that little brother and little sister got along.
Joey loved Legos and could build cities with his siblings for hours.
Joey loved any food with cheese dripping off the sides. :)
Joey loved my husband and I and was still very affectionate with us. (miss that terribly)
Joey was an honest child that could not understand why a human being would ever hurt another human being.
Joey was learning the viola and obviously had a knack for it.
Joey worked hard at school and often made the honor roll.
Joey faced disease most of his life with grace and never let it keep him from enjoying life.
Joey was a happy child, and had THE best laugh.
Joey was the leader when it came to friends.

Joey, you are the best, baby! I love you, I love you, I love you. And I'm more proud of you than you could image!


Feeling Fine

Just feeling happy this morning. Ever wake up and feel good before you're really and truly awake? I feel that way this morning. I hope the day continues that way. I'm hoping for a productive, peaceful Saturday. I want to clean, bake (yeah miracle for me), and scrap. Just a fine fall afternoon.

So in honor of my happy feelings, I'll post projects that make me feel happy:

This card just came together, and I love the textures on it. I wish every project just worked itself out. LOL!

















This one made me happy because I'm a wee bit "pink challenged." But this one worked for me. Definitely made me happy.

















Originally I had planned on placing a large photo in this frame, but once I saw the little square sentiment I knew I wanted more of an "artsy" feel to it. Trying something different makes me happy.
I am so happy that I have this hobby/job to keep me creative. Being creative makes me VERY happy. What makes you happy?






Painfully Permanent

Joey's headstone has finally been placed, and I went to see it for the first time a few days ago. A part of me was just dreading it, and I knew why. I dropped Jimmy off at Preschool, Katelyn at school and then headed up to see it.

It's too real and too permanent.

I admit that a lot of my coping skills come from a form of denial where I think of Joey being at a friend's house, or at school, or at Scout camp. I think about him being only gone for a moment. I try very hard not to dwell on the idea that he is truly gone. Part of me is just not capable of accepting that he can't be with me on this earth again. I really don't know how to accept that. I want him here to touch, to talk to, to hold.

The stone is beautiful and exactly what we wanted. A true reflection of the beautiful boy that we love and miss. I just had the hardest time actually looking at it and reading the short span of life my little boy had on this earth. I want it to say many, many more days. I want it not to be there. I want to NEVER have a discussion about death again.

I thought I would share the front of the stone with you. The back holds a special tribute created by my husband, and I think I will keep that (at least for now) between he and Joey (and those who see it).

Joey's stone:

Remember that bill?

Well, here's what it led to . . .

I went to the school to drop off the books that I had found, and the secretary told me to wait because she was sure that the school counselor would want to talk to me. Joey's counselor had been so loving and supportive during Joey's withdrawal from school and his illness. Even the principal and assistant principal made a special visit to our home at one time to check on Joey. I was extremely touched by their love and support.

The counselor walked me over to the book drop-off and said that she had Joey's yearbook for me. I couldn't believe it! I had wondered if we had purchased a yearbook at the beginning of school, but I could honestly NOT remember. I was so grateful to get it.

And when I opened it, it opened right to this page and look what I found . . .



I had a good cry in the school parking lot. Boy, I miss you, Joey!
A Kit I Can Really Appreciate




I was completely honored when Loni Stevens invited me to play with the latest KOTM from CK Media. It was designed by Ali Edwards, and she did a fabulous job. The kit comes in a darling hat box and contains more goodies than you will ever know what to do with.





But what made this kit extra special to me was that it was about facing hardships. When they asked me to do the mini album, I knew that I wanted to journal some basic things about Joey. There is still so much to say about him and the dignity with which he faced his cancer. I grew so much during his illness as I watched him cope with more pain and more trials than I am capable of understanding or imaginging. I really cannot do justice to the kind of child he was and the way he fought his cancer. But this little album allowed me to try. What I've realized is that I have a lot more to say and I needed a jumping off point to begin.



You can purchase this kit on the CK Website or follow this link: http://www.creatingkeepsakes.com/shop/item.ihtml?idx=675





NOTE: The kit actually comes with an accordion fold mini album (circular in shape), but I wanted to photograph it like this before assembling the full album.



I Found This Today:
I received a bill from Joey's school detailing three school books that were missing when they withdrew him from school last winter. (Joey's last day of school attendance was the last school day in November of 2006). I felt angry. It wasn't a very nice response, but I am so tired of bills and connections to Joseph that are negative. It's frustrating to be reminded of him in a negative light.
Anyway . . . I started thinking about where he might have left his books. We've moved since he passed away, and although I have gone through things in his room, I thought I had already returned all of his school books.
Then I remembered his backpack. I didn't remember if I had ever gone through that or not. So I found it in his closet--unopened, still full of his life at that moment, as if it were frozen in time. It hurt so much to open it and go through it's contents. He should be at school right now, at this very moment; and he's not. He should be worrying over math problems, crushing on girls, and gagging over a bad school lunch. And he's not!
I found two of the missing books, but after only a few moments I just couldn't go through the pack any more. In fact it's still sitting on his bed. It just hurts too much today. I will do it later.
And that bill? It's sitting on the counter waiting for a moment when I can call the school and not feel angry because they really were amazing to us, and it's the computer and not people that sent the bill. And really I don't want missing books hanging over me.
So I'll look again tomorrow.


Fun class by Debbie Hodge

And I'm honored to participate. I have been a fan of Debbie's work for some time now. She is teaching a class through NYCScraps.com. We will have sneak peeks in just a bit. To find out more check out this link: http://www.nycscraps.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=14&Itemid=33
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